Angsty Fluffy One-Shot Book
by baek.mint
Summary: So yeah. Shitposts of Hamilton ships with prompts from my friend.
1. Chapter 1- Hamliza

1- Hamliza

1700s - after the Reynolds Pamphlet

Prompt : _"I trusted you! Stupid me!"_

"Eliza, wait!" I didn't turn around as I streaked up the stairs, barely able to see where I was going through the tears in my eyes.

"I trusted you! Stupid me!" I yelled, sarcasm dripping off my voice at the end. I felt a hand on my arm and turned around, facing my husband, Alexander Hamilton. "I told you to come with us! Didn't I do that? Angie was right about you all along! You weren't satisfied with me, so you went and cheated with 'Miss' Maria Reynolds! What will the children think? Philip looks up to you! Do you think I'll let you close to him? What kind of an example are you for our children? Think of William! He's not even one year old! What do you think I'm going to tell him about you when he grows up? Assuming we even stay together until that time!"

"Eliza, don't you dare pin this one on me! If you hadn't been so insistent about going upstate with Angelica, none of this would've happened!" Alexander screeched, only escalating the argument.

"So it's somehow my fault that you decided to go and cheat with her, knowing that you had a wife with five kids, out of your own free will, mind you, all because you thought work was more important than family? I get that your work is important to you, Alexander! But can you show a little more restraint? How are you any different from the young man I met when I was 22? How come you do what she wants when she tells you to stay, and never listen to me when I tell you to take a break and come visit my father?" I yanked my hand out of his grip and ran the rest of the way up the stairs.

"Mama, what's wrong?" Philip asked. I tore past him, ignoring him possibly for the first time in his life. "Papa, what's wrong with Mommy?" I heard him yell, jumping in front of his father, who cast one anguished look at me before replying.

"Everything's okay, Philip. Mommy's just a little bit mad. I'll make it okay, I promise." Alexander said. I stopped at the door to my room, turning around and looking at Alexander enveloping Philip in a hug.

I wish you could keep that promise, Alexander. I thought to myself. You never seem to keep any one of the promises you made to me. You swore I would never feel helpless anymore. You swore! But you're making me feel more and more helpless with each passing second.

"Mommy, stay!" I heard James and Angelica cry. I knelt down and hugged them, glaring at Alexander over their shoulders.

"Mommy's gonna stay with Auntie Angelica for a while, but I'll be back, okay? Don't worry." I said, smiling at them. Then I let go of them and ran into the bedroom, Alexander's footsteps quickly following.

"Eliza, listen to me. I had to do what I did. If I didn't, then that would've been our legacy! Our legacy, Elizabeth!" I turned around and picked up his letters to me.

"Legacy? Is your legacy more important than your family? You should have written us out of the narrative! We don't need to be included in your sob story of how you went and cheated on your family. Remember! You have no control over who lives, who dies, and who tells your story! If you die early, rest assured, I won't be the one who tells your story. Future historians will wonder what happened to Alexander Hamilton. You won't have a legacy after tonight, Alexander!" I watched his eyes widen as I dropped his letters to me into the fire, the flames hungrily licking at the parchment.

"I hope that you burn, Alexander. I won't be there to catch you when you fall."


	2. Chapter 2- Marliza

**Chapter 2- Marliza**

 **Modern day**

 **Prompt: _"You actually thought I loved you?"_**

"Maria, look!" I looked in the direction my girlfriend was looking and rolled my eyes. Alexander Hamilton. Again. For the past few weeks, all she had been talking to me about was Alex.

"Keep rolling your eyes, Lewis. You might find a brain back there." Alexander called, to wolf-whistles from his friends. I turned away, embarrassed. I heard a small giggle from beside me and was shocked to find Eliza laughing with the rest of Alexander's friends. I shook it off, thinking it was just funny in general. I mean, everyone gets burned now and then. But still, it hurt.

"Lighten up, Maria. It's just a joke!" Eliza laughed, pecking me on the cheek. For some reason, this kiss didn't feel genuine. Neither had any of the past ones in the few weeks we had been dating. Eliza would always be distracted by something, mostly Alexander, and forget that I even existed. I let Eliza lead me away towards the direction of home.

That night, I asked, "Eliza, babe, do you love me?" She started from her thoughts, looking embarrassed.

"Yeah, of course, I do! It's just… Alexander was a former crush. I still have a thing for him. But I love you, Maria." I didn't feel anything in those words. "Uh… you wanna go out or something?" She asked a few minutes later. I perked up. It had been weeks since Eliza asked.

"Sure. Where?" I asked, picking at my food.

"The bar? Near school?" She asked, tying back her hair. I was startled. Eliza was never the one to go crazy at a bar.

"Okay… why?" I continued to ask. She didn't respond, grabbing her jacket and leaving. I followed after her, getting into the car and continuing with her to the bar.

"John, you're high." Alexander drawled as Eliza and I stepped in. Alexander lit up like a rocket when he saw Eliza. "Eliza? Haven't seen you in a long time." Eliza walked over to him and gave Alexander a high-five.

"You just saw me this morning, Alex. Calm your tits." Eliza giggled, while I shot her a disgusted look out of the corner of my eye. I rolled my eyes again and ordered something to drink. Eliza was too busy talking to Hamilton's squad to notice me slipping off into the bathroom.

When I finished washing my hands, I came out and looked around.

Hercules was drunk, passed out on the counter, Lafayette was hugging a baguette, I had no idea where that had come from, John was subtly glaring at the corner, and Alexander…. Alexander was making out with Eliza. Eliza didn't drink, so she had to be sober. As for Alexander… if his other three friends were like this, there was no doubt that he was the sober one, ready to drive his squad home.

"Eliza!" I yelled. She turned around to face me, her hair tangled and face blushing. "What are you doing?" I screeched. Alexander looked at me, his eyes slanted and calculating.

"What does it look like I'm doing, Maria?" She asked. I could feel my heart breaking as tears sprang to my eyes.

"I leave for two minutes and when I come back, I see you and Hamilton making out? Hamilton, of all people! I thought we had something! You promised me to be faithful!" I yelled.

"You really thought I loved you? You must be even stupider than you look, Maria. You're a slut, just like what James Reynolds says!" She says, and Alexander breaks into a brusque laugh.

"I am not a slut, Elizabeth Schuyler. A slut is a woman who has many casual sexual partners. Learn your vocabulary." I hissed angrily.

"Well… it's not like I care, right?" She mumbled.

"I-I- On our anniversary too? Fine!" I yelled, walking closer towards Eliza, who folded her arms and looked at me. Instinctively, I slapped her in the face, threw a box at her, and ran out the door, not pausing to look at her reaction.

"Burr!" I screamed, banging on his door. My best friend came out, in his pajamas, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Maria…? What are you doing here so late? I thought you were going out with Eliza…?" He mumbled, yawning.

"She dumped me!" I said, finally letting the tears spill over. "On our anniversary! I thought she loved me! I-I-..." I broke down, and Aaron awkwardly hugged me.

"Uh… it's okay… if you want, you can stay here until we get a room reassignment for you." He said. Hiccuping, I nodded.

"Thanks," I said. Aaron gave me a cup of hot chocolate and sat next to me with his eyes wide open until I felt myself drift off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3- Hamburr

3- Hamburr

Modern Day

Prompt: "Uh… apparently, not everything is legal in Jersey."

"What did you do?"

"I threw a table. At Charles Lee. And I'm in trouble now."

"Screw you. It's 2 AM."

"Babe, what do you want?" I mumbled into the phone. I didn't appreciate waking up in our dorm alone.

"Uh… apparently not everything is legal in Jersey." Alexander's frantic voice said. I sat up and groaned.

"What did you do, Alexander?" Wiping my face, I set the phone on speaker and began changing. Every time something like this happened, I would need to go down to the police station and bail him out.

"I threw a table. At Charles Lee. The squad was with me. And I'm in trouble now. Can you come pick us up?" He asked, throwing in a light laugh.

"Screw you, Alexander." I checked the time on my watch. "It's 2 AM. What are you doing still awake at 2 AM?"

"Party at Laf's. Lee was gatecrashing. So I threw a table at him. And… uh… I may or may not have made him pass out with a concussion." I sighed and Alexander's tone adopted a hint of accusation. "Hey, John and Laf helped! It's not just my fault, y'know. And then Herc threw a chair at him too. So… we're all at the station now. Can you get us?" He asked again. I could almost see his blushing face, embarrassingly asking me for help.

"Uh… Alexander. I can only bail out two people. I'll have to grab Washington for this." I groan once again. "Don't give me that sigh, Hamilton. If you don't want my help, you'll have to get out by yourself."

"Fine. Get dad and get here now. I mean, Washington. Hey, next time you should join us!" I squealed angrily and turned off his call. I could see his smirk.

"Goddamn it, Alexander. You're going to make me wake up the principal at 2 AM in the morning?" I moaned to myself as I left the dorm.

"Sir! Sir!" I yelled, knocking on Washington's door. I heard a loud bang and winced. I really hoped Washington hadn't fallen over anything.

"What do you want? Whoever you are, it's 2:30 in the morning." I heard a groan. Washington opened the door, wearing a T-shirt and pajama pants.

"Uh… sir… sorry to bother you right now, Alexander Hamilton and his friends got into trouble again… uh… I need you to come down to the station with me and bail him… please." I pleaded. Washington groaned again and nodded, closing the door in my face and coming down three minutes later, fully dressed.

"Let's go." We began walking towards the police station in an awkward silence. I mean, what do you say to your teacher?

"So what happened this time?" Washington asked me. I fidgeted for a few minutes before replying.

"Uh… Laf threw a party in his dorm… the squad was there with the sisters, and Charles Lee decided to gatecrash… and Alexander threw a table at him… along with John and Laf. Hercules threw a chair in that direction afterward too. I think at least two of them were drunk."

"Hold up. Alex threw a table at Charles. A table. Table table."

"Yes, keep up, please, sir," I mumbled, hoping not to get in trouble for that little sass. "So, Lee called the police on his phone… and they're down there now. At least, I think that's what happened."

"Okay."

"Also… they were underage drinking."

"You're telling me that Princeton University's students, one of whom is this establishment's model student, were underage drinking?" Washington asked.

"Uh… yes." I mumbled.

"Alexander is so dead when I find him. I might just leave him in there." Washington growled. "But if I do that, he'll call Martha and I'll be dead." The principal mumbled under his breath.

"We're here," I said, and walked into the police station, almost slamming the door in his face. The police officer at the counter raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?" She asked.

"I'm here to see Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, Lafayette, and Hercules Mulligan?" I asked. She nodded and got up.

"First cell on your left. Please, Aaron, control your boyfriend in the future." She winked. I nodded and she sat down again.

"Alex!" I yelled. He poked a hand out of the cell and waved.

"Babe! You came!" He said, laughing. John was leaning on the corner of the cell, Lafayette was hugging… wait a minute, was that Mrs. Washington's cat? And Hercules was glaring at Lafayette.

"Uh… wait just a minute. Professor Washington has something to say." I mumbled.

"Alexander Hamilton. Just what do you think you were doing underage drinking?" Washington yelled.

"Uh… sir… I wasn't the one who was drunk. It was John. I just acted impulsively." Alexander said, glaring at me.

"Oh. Okay. In that case, ma'am!" He yelled to the police officer. She came walking in with a clipboard, a pen, and keys.

"Sign here, and you're free to go." Her bored tone said.

"Thank you," Washington said, signing and returning the pen to her. She opened the door and let Alexander and Lafayette out. After I signed, she let Hercules and John out.

"Have a good night… morning." She mumbled.

"Thanks!" John yelled, still drunk. I could tell he would have a hangover tomorrow.

"Sir, I'm going to leave with Alexander," I said, nodding. He nodded back and smiled. I grabbed Alexander by the ear and dragged him out of the police office.

"Ow, Aaron, please, let me go!" Alexander yelled, his hair falling on my hands. I growled at him and let him go, hugging my arms and walking faster. "Babe, are you mad at me?" He asked, catching up with me.

"Am I mad? Alexander, use that big brain of yours and think!" I yelled. I stalked off with Alexander following me like a sad puppy.

"Aaron, I'm sorry," Alexander mumbled when we got home. I turned around to see him giving me the puppy eyes.

"Ahh, you know I can't stay mad at you... Fine!" I said, throwing my hands in the air and relenting. Alexander leaned around and kissed me on the cheek before smiling and saying,

"I have something that'll cheer you up." He went into the living room and pulled out a DVD along with a box from his hoodie pocket. I looked at the box warily. Alexander had tricked me with something like that before.

"Be my valentine, mon amour?" He asked, opening the box. I squealed. Inside was a necklace with a locket on the end.

"Is that… real silver, Alexander?" I asked. He nodded and I threw myself onto him. "Thank you!" I perked up and remembered something. "I have something for you too!" I turned and ran into my room and pulled out a box.

"Here, Alex." He laughed and ripped off the cover. His face broke into a wide smile. I had gotten him a quill and ink. He'd always wanted one of those, so I'd saved up and gotten him one.

He pulled me into a hug and threw me onto the couch, pulling out a DVD. "How about Moana?" I nodded and he put it into the DVD player before snuggling up to him.

"I love you, Aaron."

"I love you too, Alexander."

So… I thought. Better late than never, Alexander.


	4. Chapter 4- Hamlaf

4- Hamlaf

Modern day

Prompt: "OMG, what the fuck?"

"I may have tried to make food."

"Why?"

"Because you know, it's our anniversary, and I wanted to make a romantic dinner!"

"Mon amour, I'm home!" I yelled. I was greeted with a strangled scream from the kitchen. "Lafayette? Are you okay?" The frenchman ran out of the kitchen, sweating.

"Alexander, my love, you might want to come into the… cuisine… kitchen." He said, before running back in. I ran in and saw Lafayette holding a fire extinguisher in front of the stove.

"OMG, Laf, what the fuck?" I screamed, running over and taking off my jacket. "What happened in here? It's like Hiroshima and Nagasaki all over again!"

"I may have tried to make food!" He screeched before turning back towards the fire.

"Why? You know you can't make food!" I yelled at him.

"Because, you know, mon amour, it's our anniversary, and I wanted to make us a romantic dinner!" Lafayette screamed.

"Aw, that's so sweet!" I said. "Now get this fire out and let's just go out for dinner!" I howled, before grabbing the abandoned fire extinguisher and spraying the fire.

A good five minutes later, the fire was finally out, I was covered in soot, and Lafayette was close to breaking down.

"Mon amour, are you okay?" I whispered, trying to calm him down. He nodded, trying not to cry. I enveloped him in a hug and calmed his hiccuping body. "Why don't we go to McDonalds instead?" He nodded again and laughed.


	5. Chapter 5- Laurmads

5- Laurmads

Modern Day

Prompt: "OMG, you're sick!"

"It's just a cold."

"People die from it!"

"James…. Are you okay?" I asked, waking up. James Madison, my boyfriend, only coughed in reply.

"F-fine, John. Go back to sleep." He mumbled, before breaking into another coughing fit. Worried, I sat up and looked at him. "Just go back to sleep. I'm fine.

"You're not fine… OMG, you're sick!" I yelled. I tripped over myself, fell onto the floor, and grabbed James. He struggled and extricated himself from my arms.

"It's just a cold, John. Relax." He looked at me, head cocked. I pulled my hair up and said,

"No it's not fine, James. It's not just a cold. People die from it, y'know! Especially since it's winter right now! We gotta get you to a hospital!" I said.

"Settle down, please, you're gonna wake up Thomas and Alex." He said. My best friend and his boyfriend were sleeping next door. I grabbed James again, threw a blanket on him, and wrapped him up in a blanket burrito. His annoyed face glared at me from within the blankets. "I'm fine, John. Let me out."

"Nope. I've gotta be a good boyfriend. So the first step is taking care of you when you're sick. Let's go." I said, sticking a lollipop into James' mouth. His annoyed groan made me snicker, but one look at him made me stop.

"Lemme go, John." James folded his arms from inside the blanket. "I'm serious, you know. Just because I'm smaller than you doesn't mean that I can't take care of myself. We have aspirin and anti-cold medicines at home. I don't need to go to the hospital." My boyfriend sighed. "Nothing I say is going to change your mind, is it?"

"Nope." I responded. I decided to chance it and walk over to Alex and Thomas' dorm instead. James and Thomas were best friends and they probably wouldn't mind taking care of James. "Alex, Thomas! Wake up! Get to the door!" I whisper-yelled.

"What do you want…?" A voice mumbled. Alexander opened the door, his raven hair pulled back into a low ponytail, the front of his hair draping the side of his face. Goddamn it, however much I loved James, I had to admit Alexander was still cute. Not a love interest for me, though. Thomas, his boyfriend, appeared behind him, his crazy afro even crazier after sleeping.

"James…? John? What are you two doing here at one in the morning?" He yawned. "I don't have time to deal with this… please tell me John didn't get drunk again, James." Alexander knew that James never drank.

"Nope. He's convinced that the cold I have will kill me, and that's why he brought me here." James replied, shooting a glare at me.

"Yeah, so can you take care of him?" I asked. Thomas shouldered his way past Alexander and said,

"John, you woke us up at one in the morning for this…?" He tested James' forehead for a fever, and his eyes almost bugged out of his head. "Oh wait… he's burning up. I think he does need to go to the hospital."

"Traitor." James mumbled from inside the blankets. "I'm fine."

"I'll take him." I said, and walked away. "Sorry James... " I mumbled to him, and he growled.

"You're gonna be in trouble for this later." He said, and spit out the lollipop.

"I'll take my chances, James." I said.


	6. Shitpost 1- AN

**Shitpost 1- (A.N.)**

 **IMPORTANT: So- I got out of the Hamilton hole, unfortunately, and I'd like to say that updates may be slow, or not happen at all. I will be posting other things, I'm not going silent, but please respect whichever new fandom I fall into (which, right now, seems to be Undertale.)**

 **Thank You.**


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